silent sunlight

Sunday, June 26, 2005

মেঘ বলেছে যাবো যাবো

ছাব্বিশ ছয় শূন্য পাঁচ
মাউন্ট কিয়ারা--সাদারল্যাণ্ডের পথে অন্য লুকআউটের ভিড়ে দাঁড়ানো নিতান্ত সাধারণ ছোটখাট পাহাড়। তাই খুব ঘটা করে সেখানে যাই নি, অন্য এক জায়গায় যাওয়ার পথে নেমেছি শুধু। তেমন কিছু উঁচু না হলেও পাহাড়ের গা বেয়ে উঠা সরু রাস্তায় গাড়ি চড়াটি পুরাপুরি অন্যরকম ছিল। বাঁকের পরেই আর কিচ্ছু দেখা যায় না, ওপাশ থেকে আসতে থাকা কোন গাড়িও না। ভীষণ উত্তেজনাকর! তাছাড়া আবহাওয়াটাও এমন বেরসিক--ঝির ঝির বৃষ্টি ঝরিয়ে দিল। ওসব ত্যাঁদরামি সহ্য করবো না ভেবেই জোর করে বিপদজনক রাস্তা ধরে পাহাড়ে উঠে গেলাম আমরা। উঠেই বুঝলাম ভুল করিনি একদম--বৃষ্টি ঝরানোর নেশায় বুড়ো বুড়ো মেঘগুলো মহা সমারোহে নিচে নেমে এসেছে। এই ছোট্ট পাহাড়ের চূড়ায় এসে থামছে। আবার দৌঁড়ে চলে যাচ্ছে। ছোঁয়াছুঁয়ি খেলছে। আমরা পাঁচ জন মেঘের সাগরে রাজ্যের বিষ্ময় নিয়ে ডুব দিলাম।
(ছবিটা মাউন্ট কিয়ারা থেকে তোলা। কপিরাইট ভাইয়ার।)

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

blessed ++ blissfull

"++" adds two lists together...
sorry! You see I had computing exam today...
Alamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhadulillah I am still in one piece! Today was one of those days that are filled with good moments and good feelings. The absolute reason is ofcourse the unbelievable that has finally manifested itself and filled my despair-filled-dark hours with luminosity... I finally finished my exams! I am not quite sure about whether I feel empty or relieved! Anyway, next thing, went straight to the Uni library and borrowed "East, West" by Salman Rushdie and "To kill a mocking bird" (a book that I should have read long before) by Harper Lee. Salman Rushdie's Midnights Children was quite an entity for me! I felt nauseating for a few days from reading those intricate-never-ending sentenced and even more bewildering amalgam of confusing ideas and values. Had to say "nauseating" (quite deliberate use) because it was not one of my type, still read that out of the fascintion and curiosity of reading a book by him... someone so infamous in our Islamic society. Now I know that is for good reasons, but let's not go there quite yet!
Okay, next thing, ran to the bookshops and bought two books, both by the same author Dan Brown-- "Angels and Demons" and "The Da Vinchi Code". I had been waiting to read The Da Vinchi Code for quite a long time, but no library owns it, no one I knew had it, at last found that in the Uni library, with a long que behind it. Neverthless, booked that. I am still behind six people. That might a bit much, finally decided me, and hence is the purchase. Ishi told me Angels and Demons is the prequel of Da Vinchi's Code, so got that as well. Started reading Angels and Demons, so far I like it. Very witty. In fact, I am waiting to read a marvellous book once again. The last such an uncomparable book consumed by me was Margaret Atwood's The Blind Assassin. That was brilliant. A book worth revising. Waiting hungrily for a book like that. Hope these two will serve me good!
Oh two best things about today:
1. Ma's birthday (left a secret present for her which she still could not find out. Everyone else's one had been long discovered, discussed about and admired at. May be the secret place is too much of a secret).
2. Received a 16 paged letter from ishi. She broke my record of longest letter. My one, however was the result of writing to Bangladeshi friends, living thousands and thousands miles away from me. But her? Living in the same city as me? Going to Unis just steps away from each other? In this age of mobile technology? When SMSing happen constantly? When we send email with a click on the mouse and write blogs? Well, this girl...

Saturday, June 18, 2005

THE despaired

Hmm... I feel miserable.
Sorry if that remark ruined your day ( I realised, I am turning into a nagging little creature lately), but you see, I really do feel terrible and miserable. My hands are frozen (the first thing I could think of in the attempt of explaining my miserable-ness), hair unbrushed (since last morning), sitting hunch banked (sorry miss spiny chord, but making you happy will need too much effort right now), my toes are numb, about to fall off (thinking of upgrading my slippers, current version is deffinitely not working properly... so much for the white fluffy slippers!)... and oh yes... the horrendous inevitability... something that I should have mentioned long before... EXAMS!!!
Those horrible ordeals started yesterday, first exam instilled a considerable amount of doubt about my competence (not that I was doubtless before, but this time that doubt was provoked to such an extent that all my previous doubts can remain unnoticed). I have THE frantic fear... I might actually FAIL! Oh dear Lord, I am desperately in need of your special favour, unconditional love...
I left more than half of the paper unanswered. Having a secret laugh myself as well, thinking about the spectacular-hair-tearing-session of the organic chemistry professors that might (probablity 99%) follow my paper... I recognised all the reagents, I could tell which page from lecture notes did I learn to make sense of those lines and dashes with tiny letters in between them, the carbonyl compounds-- all those late nights and hair tearing behind those carbocations, electron movement, electrophilic and neutrophilic reactions... yet.. YET I say, I could not write a single one of those reactions without doubt, I could not remember the mechanisms of any reagent reaction properly! I felt despaired, devastated, miserable.
HUH! Might just fail the first semester of my uni life! Have been having serious thoughts about this lately... Uni is just not for me... someone more responsible will suit in uni better, than this irresponsible me..
####... biology. Day after tomorrow. :(.